Moving in together was the start of it all. I became convenient. I was going to be there at this time and that time. She knew that. She knew when she would be there. Next to me she could sleep every night without a doubt. The bed will always be warm. Alone at night never again. She was safe. She felt comfortable.
Along with this came the slow decline of my spontaneous sexual romps that would last for what seemed like whole days. Things that used to happen on whim were relegated to Sex Fridays. WTF!!!!! A label and scheduled date for sex this is blasphemy it goes against my entire existence as a man.
And then came the mercy sex. The oh well ok but i’m tired followed by a half assed effort on her part to please me. Don’t forget those too big t shirts that aren’t your shirts but somehow she has a few of them anyway along with some ugly sleeping pants that make her look like a shapeless wonder/8 yr old boy. Either one is frightening for me.
I mean what happened to boy shorts, thongs, and uncovered breasts just free flowing through the house. There are no kids around these parts just me and you. Now I gotta wait till we go out for you to actually look some way shape or form of sexy. Oh thats when you’re in the mood to look like the sexy bitch that got my attention in the first place. In other words when everyone else is around you need to be on point but when its just me you wanna wear little boys’ clothes.
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Now I don’t even wanna go out with you. Because I gotta stare at you the whole night and pretend that you look so amazing, make sure you don’t get too drunk, and leave before you’re too tired just to make sure that I could get some. But noooooo you wanna hit me with the morning wake up sex.
This shit is for the birds.
Fellas I’ve heard this story and I’ve lived this story. The question at hand is where did things change, why did they change, how do keep them from changing.
It all starts with proximity. When you’re living with a women you are so close that it is almost like when you lived with a sibling. So much gets shared. The comfort level increases between you which is a good thing for the emotional part of the relationship but its not the greatest thing for the physical part of the relationship. Because as the level of comfort rises then the sexual tension decreases accordingly. Yea that shit sucks.
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Take into consideration that humans are lazy and once we attain something that we desperately wanted we often slack off on the work that got us the prize anyway. This goes both ways for men and women. If you think about it there usually is something that you aren’t doing that you were doing in the beginning. Going back to that will help with any relationship problem.
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The dead bedroom the lack of passion how do we bring it back.
First I must say that if you have any serious issues between the two of you those must be addressed. Major problems will assassinate all physical interaction between you two.
If you’re free and clear of those we can move on.
Creativity
Do you have a goto sex place in the house? You know the bed or the couch. Every Time you have sex thats your spot. We’re creatures of habit so of course you do. You can change the spot. Yea i’m sure you guys saw that coming. Or you can change up what you do at the spot. Something as simple as having across the bed instead instead of vertically will spice some things up.
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Do you start off fast or slow? Whatever your normal thing is do the opposite.
Do you always kiss her lips first? Spin her around and do her neck first.
I could tell you a million tips or tricks that will break you out of a rut. But only you can do things that will blow her mind because you are her everything. I pose this question to you. What can I do that haven’t done before? A little preparation will go a long way. Breaking away from your habits in the bedroom are necessary. You must throw the curve ball. The body and mind become familiar with any habits and as they say in bodybuilding you must shock the muscle. You must do the same thing with your sex life. You must shock the woman in the bedroom. A surprise change up to the routine results in exhilarating sex as brings both of you to unfamiliar ground. The uncertainty will force you closer because in that moment the only thing that is certain is each other.
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Sensitivity/Consideration
Are you an inconsiderate asshole? Being the asshole will get you the girl but it doesn’t work in your favor once you have the girl. All it does it piss her off. And when shes pissed there will be no sex for you. A woman’s sexual being is directly connected to the way they perceive you at that specific moment. Simply put whether or not they want it depends on how they feel about you at that time. Thats why women can often be amazing freaks one day and nuns on their way to the convent the next day. Armed with this new knowledge you must appeal to her feelings, her sensibilities and daily mood swings. yes the fucking mood swings. I can’t stand them myself but any man with any sense knows they are coming.
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You appeal to these sensibilities through the ear. Yes you have to talk her and say out loud nice things about her. When a woman feels loved by you even when she hates herself you are now her everything. And a good woman will do anything for everything. All you did was believe in her when she didn’t believe herself.
Now the key to this is to speak this belief in her in a way that she will like and understand. In others words you can’t scream it at her like your old high school football coach. The delivery must be delicate and deliberate. I personally prefer the quiet surprise where out of no where I’ll say you know you’re gorgeous right? My next thing is touch. I will hug her and squeeze her like I haven’t seen her months. Followed by a long kiss on the lips where she can feel the love and care that I have for her. Because I know it doesn’t matter how she thinks of me at that moment because the second I do that I have completely changed her thoughts and put her in a different place and become her everything.
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